Dissecting My Sadism

When one looks up the definition of “Sadist” it is described as:

“1 The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others.

2 The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.

3 Extreme cruelty.”

Now while this can be very true, it is hardly the totality of this Sadist.

Sadism, for me, is a beautiful way to break your heart. It’s not pain and torture just for the sake of cruelty, but the destruction of the self. The self you identify with. The self you think you understand. It is a re awakening, if you will, through an enforced stillness.

My passion involves destruction through intense sensation to impress this stillness. To compare, if you were to grab someone and shake them long and hard at first they would be rigid. The muscles would tense and they would fight to stay in control. Before long the muscles surrender and relax. There is no fight left in them and submission is achieved.

I use sensations to the same effect. I love to remind the body of its existence. Day in and day out we ignore our bodies save for when we are uncomfortable. Once one gets over the shock of “pain” you can rediscover all of the beautiful and complex sensations you’re capable of perceiving. There’s hot pain, cold pain, dull pain, stinging pain, deep and shallow. When one can focus on the complexities of the sensations one can begin to still the mind, to follow the course as the sensations progress and morph. Once one is still, one can truly be present in the moment.

It all begins with you surrendering your flesh. In a way I use your own flesh to force the fight out of you by overwhelming you with sensations until you surrender your mind. You reach a state disoriented Nirvana, or subspace. From there you are pliable and all things are possible. Only your fear can get in the way. I can guide you, but first you must overcome your own fears.

The breaking of one man’s self is never the same as another. While you may gain insights into style and manner from other’s reviews of me, do not expect a mirror experience.


Yesterday I experienced my most awesome fusion of sadomasochism, performance, and art- EVER! Many thanks to my kinky girlfriends for coming and being a part of my most bizarre paintings yet and especially for taking these wonderful photos and video. Hopefully there will be more where these came from!

To preface; You, dear reader, may recall my recent DEATH BY DOMME adventure exploring the metaphor of the boner killer. Same masochist, different trophy this time; rather than using him as my canvas, I used him as my paint. Most amazingly, the more I bled him of his ink- the harder he got.

And so he remained throughout as his testosterone laden pigments spelled it out for all the rest o you–

Full process can be seen HERE

My Birthday Is Just One Week Away!

June 28th I’ll be turning 27 with my girlfriends at a spa. As such I won’t be taking sessions the 28th or 29th, if you’d like to do something nice for me from afar here’s a link to help you out: SURE WINNERS!

It may seem strange, but yes there are a number of ice pop molds on my wish list, with more traditional but equally drool worthy items farther down. You can’t go wrong with a gift off a list!


WTF Take II With Dan Witz

Today, thanks to Ms Anais Sin’s introductions, I took part in artist Dan Witz’s next series of WHAT THE #@%* (WTF 2010).

These pics are sneak peek shots taken by Anais with my cell. Unfortunately we didn’t get any shots of looks with the two of us so you’ll all just have to come to the show if you want to see me in killer heels and a horse head dragging naked saran wrapped Anais like a dead body behind me.



5-10% Of The U.S. Engages In SM For Sexual Pleasure On At Least An Occasional Basis

Statistics for BDSM provided by the Kinsey Institute. Link at bottom.

  1. •BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Domination/Submission, Sadism/Masochism.
  2. •In a small sample there were no significant differences between BDSM practitioners and the general population on measures of psychopathology, depression, anxiety, OCD, and psychological sadism and masochism. (Connoly 2006)
  3. •A study looking at message board posts found 71% of heterosexual males but only 11% of heterosexual females and 12% of homosexual males prefer a dominant role when engaging in sexual bondage. (Ernulf, 1995.)
  4. •The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom, a national organization committed to supporting the equal rights of consenting adults who practice forms of alternative sexual expression, conducted an informal survey of SM practitioners in 1998-1999. Some survey results are available on the NCSF website, and indicate that SM practitioners may be at greater risk for harassment, violence, and damage to property.(NCSF, 1999)
  5. •5-10% of the U.S. engages in SM for sexual pleasure on at least an occasional basis (Lowe, 1983).
  6. •12% of females and 22% of males reported erotic response to a SM story (Kinsey, Martin, Gebhard, 1953).
  7. •55% of females and 50% of males reported having responded erotically to being bitten (Kinsey, Martin, Gebhard, 1953).
  8. •14% of men and 11% of women have had some sexual experience with sadomasochism (Janus & Janus, 1993).
  9. •11% of men and 17% of women reported trying bondage (Lowe, 1983).
  1. •90% of men and 86% of women have had sex in the past year
  2. •27% of men and 19% of women have had oral sex in the past year
  3. •23% of men and 11% of women have bought X-rated movies or videos
  4. •10% of men and 9% of women have had anal sex in the past year.

For more interesting stats on Americans’ sex lives from the Kinsey Institute click here.


Dirty Feet In The Park


Last week the rain forced a dirty foot worship session into the Park for an unforgettable experience.


Death By Domme

Last week I had the great pleasure of having an experienced needle slut present himself to me with no limits. Having a particular dislike for people without limits I began to fantasize about killing the penis he was obviously thinking with.

Then I made all of my fantasies come true! Cock bondage, dick draining, butterfly boarding the dick corpse, and then memorializing it with a flowered wreath. Maybe next time we’ll film it…


Breaking Down The Bio

In case you’re having trouble reading between the lines, or just need more clarification…

Enter a state of disoriented nirvana- this is our heaven, but it’s no day spa.

Sadistic yet intimate violence- I only hurt you if/because I like you.

I am formidable but not unapproachable- People think I’m intimidating when they meet me, I get that. But I prefer open lines of communication. You’re welcome to inquire.

My long bit about flattery getting you no where- For the love of God don’t appeal to me through letters with things like ‘supreme, magnificent, magnanimous, Goddess, etc’ tacked on before my actual name in order to gain favor or when apologizing. I’m not buying it and I’m not flattered.

My affection for you is real, so also my contempt- I’m not so good an actress that I can’t express to you exactly what I think of you. With me you get what you inspire.

I will break you of your self devotion, and recreate you as a willing toy to use and play with as I see fit. You will come to crave my violations of your mind and body as I guide you to a world of incredible sensations- I have a very good (and successful) understanding of the psychology of desire, including making sure we’re both getting what we want from a scene. I’m not just a service provider- I have my own kinks to fulfill.

You would do well not to label me as I am capable of great and terrible things you can not even fathom- Don’t be daft enough to think that I am a simple creature and that you’ve got me all figured out. I am a woman and as capable of the most motherly of love and guidance as I am of the most cruel of treatment. I don’t need to explain that I’m versatile with the experience levels, you just need to understand it.

I thrive off of your reactions. Show me your love and devotion through your quaking body and wide eyes and I shall coo in your ear with a devilish smile on my lips while enrapturing your entire being- My greatest thrill in scenes is in the interaction of myself and my play partner. It’s not in the “things” we do. They are only tools. If I enjoy you it doesn’t matter what we do.

I imagine it is universally understood that any success of a scene is based on the two people enjoying each other’s company. If we don’t get along there will be no glimpse of Nirvana, no desire to break and recreate you, so the rest doesn’t matter anyway.


The Dry Enema

A dry enema is an alternative technique for cleansing the human rectum either for reasons of health, or for sexual hygiene. It is accomplished by introducing a small amount of sterile lubricant into the rectum, resulting in a bowel movement more quickly and with less violence than can be achieved by an oral laxative.

It is called “dry” by contrast to the more usual wet enema, because no water is used.

A rudimentary form of ‘dry’ enema is the use of a non-medicated glycerin suppository. However due to the relative hardness of the suppository – necessary for its insertion into the human body – before the glycerin can act, it must be melted by the heat of the body, and hence it does not take effect for up to an hour. Often the hygroscopic glycerin irritates the sensitive membranes of the rectum resulting in forceful expulsion of the suppository without any laxative effects.

A quicker form of the dry enema utilizes the injection of a small amount of water-based lubricant such as K-Y into the rectum via a non-hypodermic syringe, such as an oral syringe, or from some other source.

The usual amount of lubricant applied is about 2 tsp (10 cc), which will produce a movement in 30 minutes or less. The movement will be produced in a compact body, rather than in the more copious liquid form produced by a wet enema; and since no water is used, none will be retained higher up in the colon, to be expelled at some later, and presumably, inconvenient time.

A further advantage of this technique for sexual hygiene is that any slight remaining traces of fecal material will – due to the presence of the lubricant – tend to adhere to the wall of the rectum rather than to any foreign object which may subsequently be inserted.


Real Claws That Draw Blood

I decided I wanted to do a cat and mouse role play with my slave- and being the perfectionist that I am… I needed claws!

Fake claws are too… fake. And they don’t really hurt when you scratch someone. I wanted to be able to draw blood in one swipe! So no press on nails. Big metal claws would just look silly, and a cat and mouse role play is silly enough on its own- so…

I grew my nails for an extra two weeks so that they had enough length to get a real point out of them.

Let me tell you- It took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to file them! My nails may be ‘thin’ but they’re quite thick skinned so I had little to no worries about breakage. (he he he)

These claws work soooooo well! (As the videos Kitty Sade’s Prey, Big Boy Paratoos, and Whipping For Weeping show.)

I’ve had my claws for two weeks now and even though they hurt like a bitch when I scratch myself or when they cut into my palms as I’m whipping someone I just can’t bring myself to cut them down until they’ve really been used to their fullest potential. I’ve come to really love caressing and clawing all of my friends and slaves so I know I’m going to really miss them when they finally have to go. Typing and using my phone is all but impossible, but man o man have they been worth it!

I think they’ll have to go into my little jar of fingernail clippings that I stick on penises before I make them masturbate…