I certainly had a sore ass for a couple days afterwards (but in a pleasant, and very kinky way when sitting down at a dull business meeting the next day, shifting around in my seat)
I had emailed Mistress Sade a few days prior to the session, mainly after reading some of her enthusiastic and intelligently written posts on the chat boards (particularly with regards to her interest in strap-on play). Note that I am probably not as experienced as some people on these boards with regards to anal play (I’ve never worked up to fisting for example) but Mistress Sade certainly managed to bring the best out in me. I like a varied selection of BDSM kinks – occasionally going for hard CP sessions, other times a more sensual apraoch and on this occasion for pure anal fun. I wrote down a few other interests as well, thinking that no Mistress would either be interested or capable of strap-on play for that long. During the course of the 90 minute session, apart from some brief interludes for a rehydrating drink of water and some brief leg and foot worship, it was quite amazingly all non-stop strap-on/anal play.
I prefer to play in quite relaxed atmospheres, which Mistress Sade seemed quite happy with – therefore I cannot comment on what she would be like with a very strict demanding Mistress style session, or a hard corporal style session – however she certainly had a sadistic glint in her eye which made me think she would be more than capable in that regard.
First impressions of Mistress Sade – she is slim, beautiful and really tall, with very very long legs. My impressions when I left: the same, except also realising that Mistress Sade is a very kinky woman who is very very fit! She is also relaxed and fun with regards to BDSM, and clearly enjoys what she does.
I arrived and was met by Mistress Sade at the door, and we went into the dungeon together. I did not meet anyone else my whole time there – this might be important to some people who like lots of privacy. By this I mean not being met by receptionists, walking past other Dommes etc.
The room we played in was quite large and well equipped. Lots of equipment is not important to me personally but there were plenty of things on display to entice and torment most subs needs I would guess.
As for the details of the session itself, she had a large array of strap-ons – well I actually didn’t manage the last two fully. The penultimate one was slightly too large for the harness she was wearing, and so this was just hand held. By this point I was starting to stuggle anyway and only managed to take it due to the amazing head space I was in at the time. The final strap-on was not used at all – so there is still more to go for a return visit, which I will most certainly do on my next trip to NYC.
Nothing could break the session flow at all since I was by that time, completely in a sub-zone and just wanted to take whatever Mistress would dish out to please her.
Without doubt the best strap-on session I’ve ever had – so damn hot! When I got back to my hotel an hour later, I had a quick bite to eat, drank another litre of water, then just completely collapsed and fell asleep at 9pm, physically and mentally drained but with a very large grin on my face!
Mistress Sade – Thanks for an amazing session.
Or other women, for that matter.
Every sub/slave/cuck/piggy/younameit, looking to commit themselves to the mystical spells of a single goddess for any length of time, has asked themselves at some point: how do you approach a woman to serve her? Successfully?
While talking with my slave tonight (after listening to an old Masocast episode) we were discussing why he had never seen a pro when he had been unsuccessful in the lifestyle scene. Several people had suggested to him “courting” a professional, and I admit I was instantly turned off at the suggestion (probably because I’ve come across so many selfish and delusional douche bags that way).
He felt it would have been dishonest as
a. he couldn’t really afford it
b. he had no way of telling if she was single, looking for a personal, etc.
c. he had no way of knowing how long to ‘give’ each professional relationship before confessing he’s only interested in a personal relationship or moving on
Which got me thinking about how someone might be upfront from the beginning without being off-putting. Hot kinky women often dabble in the profession, and there are countless Pro’s who live the lifestyle, so how does one approach them?
All of my slaves have been collared because I wanted to own them. Some were clients; some were met through friends or at parties. I’ve never gone farther than a training collar with a client who approached me for personal servitude, usually because their idea of servitude did not match mine.
So when picking my own brain (because surely there must be a way to do it) I had these thoughts-
- Depending on the stage she is at in her life, she may or may not be open to taking on a new personal. So… if she would have to train you to do something already being done, it’s not going to happen. Find classes on acts of service and learn your craft so you’re coming to her with skills she need only refine to her particular tastes.
- Can you offer her some form of service that one or several others don’t already?
- Does SHE really benefit from this service you offer, or will you be manipulating her into indulging your fetishes more often than not? If she’s indulging you more than the value of the service you provide, it isn’t going to be service. Save your dough and find a pro. That would be way more fair to everyone involved.
- How many slaves does she already have? How many does she want? If she has a FetLife account, she’s likely to have “looking for: slave” or something like that. If you dig a little deeper you might find out what kind of services she’s needing currently. Life Pro Tip: Don’t <3 every one of her pictures in the process. Calm yourself. Maybe take a meditation class before your boot blacking class.
- Does your idea of personal servitude match hers? Only doing the research and asking the right questions will tell you.
- We know she will be making your life better with all that delicious attention and cold hearted affection, how are you going to enrich hers? Realistically? Can you ACTUALLY give a decent massage? Maybe in reality you’re better suited to periodically cleaning her fish tank, mowing her lawn, or cleaning the dungeon bathroom.
- Asking right from the beginning to be her sex slave if you haven’t found her on Tinder is going to generate genuine disgust no matter how poetically or graphically you phrase it. It’s just insulting on so many levels.
- Are you a one trick pony? Because this is servitude, not free sessions or bartering for the play you want. You don’t X so you can Y. You do whatever the fuck she wants so you can serve. If you’re not going to be happy without 3 hours of service equalling 1-2 hours of dedicated play time, be up front about that. Don’t pretend to be okay with something you’re not because you think it will get you in the door.
- How much time and energy will you be capable of dedicating to her each week?
- Are you a man or a mouse? Many women are more strongly attracted to men (who We sometimes make into Our mice). Sniveling “worthless” slaves can come off as insulting when they ask for a collar because they’re really telling everyone is that his Mistress deserves or puts up with shitty slaves. She deserves better than worthless. That is not to say that humility doesn’t go a long way, or that we don’t love to impose humiliation and degradation, but we both know that isn’t the same thing.
- And most importantly, NO DICK PICS UNTIL REQUESTED! Or nudes of any kind for that matter. If you must send a photo in your first message, make sure it’s the one your mom hangs on her fridge. Upon any dick pic request you should immediately google for the best ways to do this! After which you will discover that your best bet at looking anything other than revolting is to hire a professional to photograph your johnson. Dick pics are ugly from any angle your short stubby arms can reach. If you have to, get a tripod and a remote shutter.
- Always check your message thrice to be sure it doesn’t read like you dropped out of 5th grade. Now sit on it for a day and re-read it obsessively. Have you really said everything you need to say in one message? Is it more than 200 words? If it’s too long maybe you should attach your life story as a document or include a “too long; didn’t read” summary at the bottom.
I know this isn’t exactly a map to your dreams come true, but it’s something to work with. Maybe it will help you not make a total dick out of yourself the next time you see a woman who makes you want to surrender everything you have. If you have a true desire to forsake your own needs and desires for those of a Goddess, stick with it and you’ll get there! But if you evaluate your situation and see that you have little to offer, you should consider sticking to professional relationships.
If you’ve ever presented me with a smoothly shorn ass, you know exactly how much I’ve appreciated your efforts. The same goes for the back of your neck.
Here’s a great guide from a Reddit user on how to clean up your act without looking like you’re moonlighting drag queen.
***[I]n most environments/cultures men don’t bother [with their grooming] and the baseline of what’s expected has drifted way down.
This actually offers a *huge* advantage to any guy that wants to give a shit about his appearance. You say that women have an unfair advantage… but women actually have it really shitty. Having your hair done, being well dressed, and having your makeup on is *expected* of women. If you don’t do those things as a women people think you look sickly and you don’t have your shit together. The bar for personal care is so much lower for men that doing just about anything above the bar makes you look like a god damn super star.
I won’t even give you abstract examples, I’ll give you examples of things that I personally do that 99% of the men I know don’t (and I get mother fucking compliments hand over fist from women for it).
* Take care of your skin. Use good cleansers, use alpha-hydroxy wipes to break down sebaceous filaments (those look-like-tiny-black heads-but-aren’t things on your nose and upper cheeks), moisturize, use sun screen so you don’t look like an old shoe. /r/SkincareAddiction for more info.
* Groom your eyebrows. For fuck sake everyone *groom your fucking eyebrows*. This doesn’t mean waxing them so you look like a drag queen or a damn chola, it means plucking between your eyebrows, plucking lightly under and above them to get rid of those stray freakish hairs. Don’t shape your eyebrows, that’s feminine. Just clean around the natural shape of your eyebrows so that they look sharp and defined and not like a caterpillar slowly melting into your face.
* Buy clothes in the right size, in a flattering cut, and get your shit tailored. I’m a slender guy. I look ridiculous in your typical fat-guy-American cut dress shirts, like a kid wearing his father’s shirt for a bad job interview. You need clothes that fit. Nobody wants to see somebody in a suit that looks like they stole it from their Andrea the Giant size grandfather.
* Have a sense of style. I have a *distinct* style. It isn’t about exactly what my style is, it’s about having a style, a personal mark. If you showed somebody a photo of me with the head completely blacked out, they’d know it was me.
* Have a scent. Don’t wear some bitch ass body spray like a high school boy. Whether your signature scent is the aftershave you use or a cologne doesn’t matter. Have a heavier winter scent and a lighter summer scent. Experiment until you find one that works well with your body chemistry.
* Stand up straight. Seriously, this is grandma-level-1 advice, but stand-the-fuck-up-straight. Shoulders back, gaze level, etc. People with good posture and a strong gaze dominant the room.
* Get a good hair cut. Either have a damn good old school barber or go to a salon. I’ve been getting my hair cut at a salon since I was a teenager. The difference between shitty haircuts and good haircuts is about $200 or so a year. $200 a year is a small price to pay to not look like you were raped by a Flowbee.
* Shave your neck. The *back* of your neck. Don’t wait 4 weeks to go back to your barber/stylist to have the carpet that is slowly growing down from your hairline to your shoulders managed. That neck fuzz guys get between haircuts looks awful. A simple pass over the area in the shower once or twice a week will keep it looking neat.
* Take care of your hair. Almost every guy I know just buys whatever shampoo is on sale when they’re (also) buying their frat boy body sprays. Don’t do that. Buy a quality shampoo and conditioner suited for your hair style. You want compliments on your hair? Good hair cut, good hair products.
* Speaking of hair, know how the hell to manage facial hair. Either you shave it clean (and properly, see /r/wicked_edge) or you trim it right. Unkempt facial hair is hideous. It looks like sprawling pubes devouring your face. I have a beard. I keep my upper cheeks and neck clean shaven. I clip my beard every few days by doing an upward pass through the beard with a #2 guard (1/4″) and then a downward pass with a #1 guard (1/8″). I get at least a few compliments a week on my beard and they’re almost always along the lines of “I really don’t like beards on men, but your beard looks great… what do you do so I can tell my boyfriend/brother/dad/son?”
* Get a good looking watch. Not necessarily an expensive watch… a good looking watch. Since we’re talking office environment, this means no watches that look like you forgot to take them off after coaching a track team, climbing a mountain, or going on a deep sea dive. This also means no watches that are popular among school age boys. You should be wearing a respectable looking and subtle watch that doesn’t look like a plastic piece of shit, a piece ripped off a boat’s navigational spread, or a god damn hub cap from Pimp my Ride.
* Speaking of the general region of the wrist and hands… take care of your hands and nails. Most guys have disgusting hands. Moisturize your dry ass hands. Clip and properly shape your nails. Clean under your nails. No woman is attracted to a man with filthy hands and a cesspool of smegma and bacteria under his nails. That screams “he’s going to fingerbang me into having a horrible vaginal infection”. Push your cuticles back. If you have heavily ridged nails that make you look like an old coke head, polish them down with a buffer once a week. You’ll get really healthy looking nails without looking like you’re getting manicures all the time or wearing nail polish. Even if you don’t take this section seriously, at minimum: moisturize your hands and clean that shit out from under your nails.
* Enough about your hands. Take care of your feet. I know, I know. You asked about office apparel. What does taking care of your feet have to do with that? Most men have feet that *fucking stink*. Most men also don’t take *care* of their feet… so they stink. You need to exfoliate your feet. Keep a pumice stone or similar tool in the shower. Use it to rub the dead skin off your feet a few times a week (or every shower, really). You’ll be absolutely revolted at how much dead skin comes off. That’s what the bacteria eat. Your shitty ass dead-skin-covered feet are like an Old Country Buffet for bacteria. The more you exfoliate and clean your feet, the less nasty they’ll be. Don’t be the guy in the meeting that’s smelling the joint up.
* On the topic of feet and smelling the joint up… learn how to properly take care of your shoes. Don’t wear the same pair of dress shoes to work every day until they disintegrate. They’ll smell. They’ll never air out properly. The leather will suffer. Buy a few pairs. Rotated them. Let them breath. Polish them. Put cedar trees in them to keep them smelling fresh. You might not give a shit about shoes, but other people notice.
Now… that all seems like a lot. You said you don’t have an extra hour before work every day. You don’t need an extra hour before work every day. I hardly spend anymore time on my daily grooming than your average guy… I just do it more efficiently. Just get in the habit of taking care of yourself. Switch from a shitty bar of soap to a quality facial cleanser. When you’re looking in the mirror while you’re brushing your teeth and you notice a stray hair on your brow, pluck it out. When you’re in the shower contemplating the universe, scrub the nasty ass callouses off your feet. When you’re shopping for clothes, leave it in the store unless it fits and flatters you (or you’re willing to pay someone to make it fit and flatter).
All those little changes add up and suddenly you’re dapper as fuck.
I would have to start by saying that I’m a true foot fetishist I have been worshiping women feet for as long as I can remember, every country I travel to that is the first thing I look for and I thought that I have seen it all and I have touched, messaged, worshiped all kind of women feet until I met and I had the honor of worshiping Mistress Sade.
I remember the minute she allowed me to take off her high heels and I saw her toes as they are coming out of her shoes I was extremely amazed of how perfect, beautiful, and sexy her feet they blew my mind a way simply more than what a foot fetishist can handle it was literary as her feet on a completely different level than any feet I have even seen before, they make you want spend the whole time to just look at them and appreciate their perfection you will never get tired.
No matter how much I will describe them you can’t possibly be prepared to serve Mistress Sade’s feet. The mouth-watering long toes, the magnificent high arches, the slender elegant shape, the dark “well-pedicured ” toe nails that perfectly matches her skin color , the enticing scent of her soles, and what tops it all is how soft are her feet feels against your face I have never experienced anything like it.
I have been visiting New York city for the past 7 years and I was always searching for the perfect feet I now can say that I found them you can’t get more perfection that Mistress Sade impeccable size 10 feet — simply they will give you a glimpse of heaven.
Thank you mistress for giving me the honor of worshiping your feet.
I am such a stickler for formality, not to mention a busy woman, which is why I ask you to write an informative letter to arrange a call with me rather than cold call me with questions and booking requests. If you’ve ever called me before doing so, you know exactly how bad that went.
Take some pointers from Bob (names changed), here.
This excellent introductory email resulted in a nice long (not NiteFlirt) phone call and an immediate booking. Although the session was booked weeks in advance– everyone had all the information necessary to schedule quickly, ask relevant follow up questions, and confirm the plan on the day of.
Communicating with Bob has been such a pleasure I have absolutely no doubt that we will have an excellent first scene together.
Name: Bob Loblaw
ph#: correctly filled in
How do you identify: Submissive/fetishist
Have we met or played together before: No, we’ve not played before.
Who have you seen before: gave two references that I could reach
As I grow older, bolder, and more mature, I desire to feed my soul, and grow and evolve, in all aspects of my life. The mind, body, and soul, all are intertwined, and in a sexual context, all three come into prominent play. My submissiveness is not perceived by myself as a weakness, but as a strength. The symbiotic relationship of a dominant Female, and a submissive male, is beautiful, sensuous, exciting, sexy, carnal, exhilarating, and the deepest fulfillment I could ever imagine. When the chemistry in a D/s relationship is ignited, it can and should stimulate all the senses of both parties.
I desire to explore that euphoric state with You. I have been aware of Your majestic presence for several years. I have often fantasized, about some day, being in Your clutches, being under Your spell, and ultimately surrendering my entire being to You. Your beauty is aesthetically gorgeous, but that alone, does not make for an elite Mistress. When I look at Your hypnotic eyes, I see a powerful women, who is intelligent, creative, and intensely passionate about life, and what life has to offer. That is a powerful aphrodisiac for any man or woman.
if I am so lucky to have a session with You, I would want not to dangle my toes in the water, but to dive in, holding my breath, and when I resurface, feel the sensational vibrations of Your sheer dominance and control over me.
I certainly have preferences of particular play. The way You masterfully “abuse” a slave’s prostate, would be a glorious and delirious thrill for me to experience. Electrical play, is very appealing to me as well. But I feel strange, to laundry list, and as if I am writing a “menu of dishes”, I’d much rather You whisper in my ear, what You intend to do to me, and with me, as Your hot breath on my neck, will send shivers of excitement, up and down my spine.
But lastly, but certainly not least, i would be an utter failure as a submissive, if my Mistress was not satisfied and fulfilled. I want to be able to satiated all of Your desires, and have You utilize me like a paint brush and canvas. If I can create much pleasure for You Mistress, than I am certain, I will have had an exceptional session.
I hope that Our session, evolves into encounters, evolving further into whatever Our hearts, mind, body, and souls, can conjure up in Our imagination. For the greatest pleasures, lie within Our brains, and Our ability to dream big.
Submissively Yours, pet Bob
Date you are hoping for: proposed and accepted
Time: confirmed and available
Follow ups after our phone call:
Thank You so much for being generous with Your time on the phone with me the other day. Your command and presence, and essence, certainly permeates the cellular phone waves!
I have put some thought to my hard limits. So here we go: No brown showers, marking or alterations to any body hair or parts, no force bi, or forced intoxication. No combination of multiple sensory deprivation. I believe I can handle sound without sight, or the reversal, but not both simultaneously.
No fire play, or heavy hot wax play. No breath play. No blood play.
Mistress, I hope I have not limited myself too much. I feel compelled to write what my favorites are, and my preferences, but You did not instruct me to. If You command me to subsequently write them down for You, I will happily do so.
I am VERY excited about serving You Mistress Sade. I hope that I can make You extremely happy, and give You immense pleasure.
I hope You are very well, and enjoying the summer. I especially love, nipple play, CB play, but most intensely, would love for You to prostate milk me, tortuously slow, and if You so desire, frontal SO play. Nothing could be more gloriously sensuous, to stare into Your beautiful eyes, while You have my legs jack up and spread, for You to take me and ride me.
I am very ticklish, so that is always an exciting scenario. Spitting, and consuming all of Your bodily fluids, is a submissive dream, i should only be so lucky.
Mistress, I will entrust my submissiveness in Your talented and beautiful mind, body & soul.
Obviously, You will do with me what You must.
I can’t wait!
<3 Pet bob
My semester starts soon, so my patience for instructing people multiple times on how to book a session is wearing thin. In a few weeks I will just flat out ignore you if you mess up once.
Helios, I love thee. Woven bustier and pleplum belt, you’re nice too.
I created two new blood portraits this week (via the same methods as before). I’ve come to call this “erotic finger painting.” I think of these as dual portraits of a Sadist and a Masochist. One expresses the other, thereby allowing itself to exist where others can see it.
“Beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears.”
-Edgar Allen Poe.
For my birthday this year my dear friend Evermore gave me an offering of her own flesh and blood. Beginning with a savage whipping that brought forth both deep sighing smiles and bitter tears; she wept, and it felt as if the tears were cleansing her, as if her body needed to empty itself. I then carved the symbols tattooed on her wrists high on her back, and blotted the rivulets of blood onto an unprimed linen canvas. Lastly I choked her back with needles. It was truly beautiful.
When one looks up the definition of “Sadist” it is described as:
“1 The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others.
2 The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.
3 Extreme cruelty.”
Now while this can be very true, it is hardly the totality of this Sadist.
Sadism, for me, is a beautiful way to break your heart. It’s not pain and torture just for the sake of cruelty, but the destruction of the self. The self you identify with. The self you think you understand. It is a re awakening, if you will, through an enforced stillness.
My passion involves destruction through intense sensation to impress this stillness. To compare, if you were to grab someone and shake them long and hard at first they would be rigid. The muscles would tense and they would fight to stay in control. Before long the muscles surrender and relax. There is no fight left in them and submission is achieved.
I use sensations to the same effect. I love to remind the body of its existence. Day in and day out we ignore our bodies save for when we are uncomfortable. Once one gets over the shock of “pain” you can rediscover all of the beautiful and complex sensations you’re capable of perceiving. There’s hot pain, cold pain, dull pain, stinging pain, deep and shallow. When one can focus on the complexities of the sensations one can begin to still the mind, to follow the course as the sensations progress and morph. Once one is still, one can truly be present in the moment.
It all begins with you surrendering your flesh. In a way I use your own flesh to force the fight out of you by overwhelming you with sensations until you surrender your mind. You reach a state disoriented Nirvana, or subspace. From there you are pliable and all things are possible. Only your fear can get in the way. I can guide you, but first you must overcome your own fears.
The breaking of one man’s self is never the same as another. While you may gain insights into style and manner from other’s reviews of me, do not expect a mirror experience.
Yesterday I experienced my most awesome fusion of sadomasochism, performance, and art- EVER! Many thanks to my kinky girlfriends for coming and being a part of my most bizarre paintings yet and especially for taking these wonderful photos and video. Hopefully there will be more where these came from!
To preface; You, dear reader, may recall my recent DEATH BY DOMME adventure exploring the metaphor of the boner killer. Same masochist, different trophy this time; rather than using him as my canvas, I used him as my paint. Most amazingly, the more I bled him of his ink- the harder he got.
And so he remained throughout as his testosterone laden pigments spelled it out for all the rest o you–
Full process can be seen HERE